Oh Joy! The BRIT Awards.

The BRITs are coming. No, this isn't a German public information warning people called Jurgan to put their beach towels on sun loungers, but a muddled attempt to explain why I find the drunken mess of the British Music Industry's annual knees-up such a turn off.

You see, when I was getting into music in the mid 90's the big winners were the bands producing music I liked. Blur, Oasis, the Manics were all "main" winners three consecutive years. So it’s not that I particularly think the wrong people win it. It’s not that the system of letting the public vote for some awards is necessarily a bad thing (see Belle and Sebastian “stealing” Steps’ award in 1999 with much hilarity). It’s not even that it’s on ITV. Honest.

I just think it’s overhyped - too in love with it’s self. Suffering the problems I most associate with the music industry. Too much liking and no-one saying, "Yeah, that last Oasis album did sound like the previous three", or, "Why does Chris Martin wave his hands around like a complete berk when he’s singing ". It's almost as if it’s the self-appointed spokesperson for the music we’ve all been listening to over the last year which no-one actually appointed. It’s also a bit of a popularity contest. Those awards that aren’t decided by the public vote are decided by a panel of “experts”. But because of the high profile nature, these people appear more likely to go for the populist option for fear of getting lynched in the press following the ceremony. Look at the nominations this year for Best International Group and Best International Album. They’re the same. There’s no originality, no thinking outside the box.

I also think it’s too much of a compromise. It’s doing that very British thing of trying to please everyone and pleasing very few. Perfect case in point is nominating Girls Aloud and Radiohead in the same category. I think it’s called Radio 1 syndrome.

It also loses some significance because it is a place to be seen. The non-entity celebrities that blight our life use it as a marketing tool. Do they really care or contribute the music industry any more than the rest of us? If not, why do they get free tickets, a slap up meal and a load of free alcohol?

Or maybe it’s because if I’m told something is fantastic (as all radio stations do, because all the DJ’s have tickets…or their bosses have tickets at least), then I find it much harder to like because it never quite reaches it's hype. Or really simply I just don’t like it and I don’t have to justify myself.

And now it’s gone and make me write a shitty blog that whines like an All American Rejects song. I hate the BRITs.

Familiar Faces for 2009

Scared by the new eclectic, electric sounds coming from your radio at the moment? Fear not as here's a belated guide to some more familiar names who are due to release material this year.

When the second best storey-telling songwriter in South Yorkshire, Jon McClure of Reverend and the Makers announced in the “summer” of 2008 that he would quit music after his band's second album because, “I don’t want anything to do with this industry, it absolutely stinks”, it was good to see someone stick up for what they believe in. Six months down the road and McClure has backtracked on his words, set up a new band and is yet to set a release date for the second Makers album.

Having been so straight talking, but ultimately full of bullshit, it will be interesting to see what the hell they come up with. Still, if the tunes are there, all will be forgotten.

Also talking with no end product a while back were bands only favourites Ash. Promising that Twilight’s of the Innocents would be their last traditional album, the hope and expectation was that they’d release a steady stream of singles as and when they were written. Instead they’ve re-milked the cash cow they perceive their debut 1977 to be. Lads, let have some new stuff this year, eh?

Confirmed and ready to go are Green Day and their eagerly anticipated follow-up to American Idiot. Titled, 21st Century Breakdown, it’s been revealed that the album will be split into three “acts”, therefore probably following the storytelling nature of their last album.

Also back this year are the band who caused the country to go synth crazy, the Klaxons who are likely to be pushing their sound further into, well, wherever they push their sound.

Jumping on the electro bandwagon, as you've probably already heard, are Franz Ferdinand whilst Queens of the Stone Age, the mighty Muse and a small band you may have heard of, the Arctic Monkeys are also due to release albums this year, though nothing has been confirmed.

One of my personal favourite bands, Metric, release and album this spring whilst also back are the likes of Doves and U2...ah yeah, and Starsailor, for those of you who require a nappy for sleeping.

The Black / White Band Name Guide

Michael Jackson once famously sang "It don't matter if you're black or white". And to his credit, he took it so seriously he actually became neither.

But when it comes to band names, well it ruddy does matter. And with so many bands out the with similar sounding names, Bands Only attempts to guide you through the confusion with our quick Black/White band name guide:

Black Kids - US indie-dance band, featuring male-female duel vocals. Try: I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

White Denim - American garage indie-rock. Try: Let's Talk About It

Black Sabbath - Ozzy Osbourne's UK metallers. Try: Iron Man

White Lies - UK electro-indie in the vein of Joy Division. Try: Death

Black Crowes - Well-established USA hard rockers. Try: Remedy

White Stripes - Detroit blues-rock two-piece, featuring Jack White. Try: Seven Nation Army

Black Keys - US dirty blues-rock two piece, championed by Colin Murray. Try: Same Old Thing

This is not an exhaustive list and there are several more examples out there - but I did think it safe to leave out White Town.